Communication is a dynamic process with the interacting components of sending, receiving and feedback. Nonverbal cues may provide clarity or contradiction for a message being sent. If an ironic statement is made with a smile, the receiver knows to find it humorous instead of disconcerting. If we are sending a verbal message intending to deceive and avert our eyes the receiver knows we may be lying. Nonverbal cues also influence how we perceive and are perceived. Familiar faces may make us more likely to start a relationship and continue it. Nervous facial expression hinders other`s perception of our competence and persuasiveness. Nonverbal cues can provide information we may not want dispelled. Our decoding ability arises at a young age and increases as we get older, influencing our daily lives whether we are aware of it or not.
Women tend to communicate more effectively than men, focusing on how to create a solution that works for the group, talking through issues, and utilizes non-verbal cues such as tone, emotion, and empathy whereas men tend to be more task-oriented, less talkative, and more isolated. Men have a more difficult time understanding emotions that are not explicitly verbalized, while women tend to intuit emotions and emotional cues. Characteristically, women are encouraged to look modestly downward, to walk with small steps, be more restrained in facial expressions than men of their class, and to eat smaller portions of food. Gestures of female assertiveness, like standing with arms akimbo, or legs widely spaced, are regarded, particularly in societies with strong power differentials between the sexes, as unbecoming and aggressive, imitative of male behavior. These differences explain why men and women sometimes have difficulty communicating and why men-to-men friendships look different from friendships among women. Nonverbal communication, or body language, is a vital form of communication. When we interact with others, we continuously give and receive countless wordless signals. All of our nonverbal behaviors the gestures we make, the way we sit, how fast or how loud we talk, how close we stand, how much eye contact we make send strong messages. The way you listen, look, move, and react tell the other person whether or not you care and how well you’re listening. The nonverbal signals you send either produce a sense of interest, trust, and desire for connection or they generate disinterest, distrust, and confusion.
Nonverbal communication is a rapidly flowing back-and-forth process. Successful nonverbal communication depends on emotional self-awareness and an understanding of the cues you’re sending, along with the ability to accurately pick up on the cues others are sending you. This requires your full concentration and attention. If you are planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, or thinking about something else, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues and other subtleties in the conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience in order to fully understand what’s going on.
I enjoyed reading your persepctive on the communication gap between men and women. I tend to agree with your assessment that men often have a more difficult time understanding emotions that are not explicitly verbalized. It's a problem I still struggle with on a regular basis whether in the professional or private arena. however, I would say that I have made some important progress in overcoming my limitations of the years.
ReplyDeleteOne area where I might disagree with you pertains to the notion that women necessarily tend to communicate better than men. You mentioned that women tend to focus on how to create a solution that works for the group by talking through the issues, and utilize nonverbal cues such as tone, emotion or empathy whereas men often do not. I would agree that may be the case for some men, but certainly not all. I can give many examples of women who where both educated and not who are often unable to reach a group consensus or communicate their ideas and intentions effectively. It seems to me that the problem stems more from the individual's personal experiences and lack of confidence when trying to communicate. Sometimes the person, male or female, may feel threatened by others and be unable to communicate a solution or work through issues better. I don't believe it is specifically the result of gender differences.
The danger of generalizations is that people[e tend to be hold a false expectation about another persons ability to communicate. it might make someone ignore the opinions of a women who is perfectly capable of expressing herself - or a man amongst a group of women. The examples you cited are very good and do suggest the trend, but it would not be difficult to find both men and women who counter each generalized difference between the sexes with regards to nonverbal cues.
Where I wholeheartedly agree with you is in your final comment that we should "stay focused on [our] moment-to-moment experiences in order to fully understand" our communications with others. By listening and staying in the moment, we can better appreciate the uniquely human ability to connect minds with other human beings - even if its only over a cup of coffee.
I liked and enjoyed reading your view on the whole communication process. i have to say that i agree with you on many parts. well actually on mostly all of it. it is very surprising on how men and women speak. evrybody has and uses their owns tones, words, body languages and facial expressions. a lot of these are used all at once in order to display the emotion or meaning behind it. I completely agree with the whole women communication thing. because in my opinion women communicate the best when it comes to any conversation. women communicate better than men do because we like, well some of us more than others, to share how we feel. we like to invite people into our lives while men are more on the tough solitary side of things. men prefer to just deal with thier issues emotionally and physiccaly on their own. i believe that it is because men were never taught to show their emotions. growing up little boys were never allowed to really cry. because little boys need to be tough and big boys dont cry. it didnt matter how badly you were hurt boys needed to be tough. they played fighting games, killing or shooting games while girls had dolls and played house. dolls and house involve talking while shooting or fighting involves none or minimal speech. more strategy than anything else.
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